when u havent done ur homework but the teacher goes through the answers with the class
AHHHH CONGRATULATIONS THAT’S AWESOME!! Woot woot! YOU GO, HOMIE!
I got into Wesleyan ED and then had a paper due a day later, so I can relate to the stress (IT SUCKS)! A couple of things to think about:
1. Take it ONE DAY AT A TIME. Our society has set up a system where you spend your entire high school career constantly thinking about an overall goal (typically getting into college), and the great thing about getting into college is that you’ve achieved that goal and can just sort of live life!
Every time I used to think about school work before I got into Wes, I used to be like, “OMG IF I FAIL THIS ONE CHEM TEST MY ENTIRE FUTURE GOES DOWN THE TOILET OMG OMG OMG.” With my hopes of getting into college realized, I suddenly didn’t have those notions gnawing away at my sanity.
So, relax and take everything as it comes!
2. As Sheryl Sandberg (my hero), says in her book Lean In (I’m paraphrasing here), “Done is sometimes better than perfect.” Unless you’re going for valedictorian/salutatorian or something and need to keep the exact grades you have now, feel free to loosen the reins a little bit (not too much to where you fail, but just enough so you’re not killing yourself on assignments!).
Example: During senior year, I used to annotate the crap out of my books for English class. I’m talking, like, four different highlighters (each with different meaning), two colored pens, and sticky notes. As you can imagine, reading became this time-consuming terror that I dreaded. After getting into Wesleyan, I loosened up a little bit; I cut my writing utensils down to a pen and cut my writing time down drastically.
In this case, my work was done adequately, but not up to my former “perfect” standards. Did my grades suffer? Nope. Did I have more time to chill out and enjoy my accomplishment? Heck yeah.
3. Make time to relax! This is something I didn’t master until sophomore year of college (literally, like, six months ago). If you want relaxation time, you need to put it in your schedule! I used to always feel guilty in high school if I decided to watch reruns of House instead of working on the latest AP Calc assignment. But now, I actually pencil in “Watch Castle" as part of my schedule, and it makes me stop feeling terrible about taking some time for myself. And always remember to TREAT YO SELF.
Overall, congrats again on getting into your dream college, and let me know if you need anything else!
I get that this is a tricky situation. I had two people in my friend group who went through the exact same situation (both applied for Northwestern at the same time, and the one who vocally said she loved it more didn’t get in, while the other girl did).
A couple of things to consider (again, these are just my two cents!):
1. Unfortunately, it’s probably too late for her to withdraw an application!
2. From the experience with my two friends, I learned this: It’s probably best not to say anything to your friend. There’s nothing you can do from the admissions side of things, and it seems like all this will do is upset your friend. In the process of my two friends getting angry over Northwestern, the rest of our friend group got dragged into it (it became a middle school-esque “Whose side are you on?” sort of shenanigan), and it made quite the mess for a couple of weeks. Obviously, no one wants to deal with extra friend drama on top of college decisions coming out.
3. Regardless of what happens, you will be FINE in the long run! I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but it’s all okay in the end. I once heard an admissions counselor say that we all don’t have just one “dream” college—we have many “dream schools”. However, we don’t always find those when we’re applying.
I have a friend at Wesleyan who ended up at Wes because he didn’t get into his top two dream colleges. Needless to say, he spent the first half of his freshman year being bummed and annoyed. However, he finally settled into Wes and now considers it his dream college after the fact.
Moral of the story? It may take a little while, but whatever ends up happening will be great!
4. Also realize that it’s totally okay and legitimate to feel upset! If the scenario ends up playing out the way you see (and there’s still a chance that it won’t!), take some time to breathe, relax, and eat Sour Patch Kids (or your junk food of choice). Just make sure that you don’t try and delegitimize your friend’s feelings in the process!
Best of luck!
- me: finishes book
- me: slowly closes book
- me: THROWS BOOK ACROSS ROOM
- me: PTERODACTYL NOISE
Hey, anon! Lily here (as usual). Thanks so much for the kind words!
AND HOLY SHIT I TOTALLY FEEL YOU ON THIS ONE. I had a couple of people who made really obnoxious comments to me about Wesleyan. I was already feeling insecure enough applying to a college that no one had heard of, and people’s words only made me feel worse.
My two cents:
1. First of all, f*ck them. Arrogance is proof of insecurity on their part, and I’m sure these people are only telling you these things because they’re unsure of their own impending college decisions (actually, I can almost guarantee it). It’s an emotional time for everyone, and some people handle “the unknown” very differently.
2. One note: It’s okay to feel a little low at times during college decisions. At the end of the day, words hurt. When I had stuff like this going on when I was a HS senior, I tried to play it off all cool, like I was totally unfazed. But it’s okay to be a little fazed, and it’s all about how you bounce back. Take a deep breath, eat some ice cream, watch some Sherlock reruns (HOW ABOUT THAT SEASON 3/EPISODE 3, EH!?!), and take a moment to feel vulnerable. Clear your mind, and take a step back.
3. After the above step, take it from a college sophomore: It’s all going to be totally 100% okay. Try to avoid these terrible people if possible, and remember that they’re in the wrong, not you.
4. If you’re having trouble avoiding these assholes because they’re in your friends group, I would highly recommend trying to distance yourself for the next couple of weeks (not the rest of the year, just a week or two!). It’s actually kind of nice to be on your own when you’re going through a stressful time. Do some extra homework at lunch. Get more involved in clubs. Spend time with your family on weekends. You’ll go into decision time a whole lot more relaxed.
5. Whatever happens, remember: You are an awesome individual, and these people are being rude. Keep on keeping on, and again, I promise that it will all eventually be totally fine!
Thanks for reading and for being rad!